How To Survive The Menopocalypse
Achieving Wisdom-Hood
Achieving Wisdom-hood is an honor of a lifetime. You have survived multitudes of morons, been mansplained to since the womb, and relentlessly taxed on the only reason we’re alive in the first place. Wielding this weapon of life was not, is not, and never will be easy. So for all those who arrive at the fiery gates of Menopause, Kunda would like to congratulate you and offer a hand of help, or a finger, for this next stage of your epic life saga.
Menopocalypse 101
Nothing to see here, just the total upheaval and destruction of everything you ever knew life to be. Spontaneous combustion, mood tsunamis, choking brain fog, and zombie brain are beckoning to you from the horizon, and unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to stop these horses.
But don’t get gaslit by your own body—these symptoms are only a byproduct of what’s really happening to everyone who has ovaries (betrayal!). Over time they get tired of being such productive baddies and decide this one-sided relationship has run its course. They simply stop giving a F. “Oh you met a cutie at the grocery store and you wanted to go for a ‘coffee?’ Well, us ovaries forgot to mention, we’re fresh out of estrogen and progesterone today. Enjoy the internal sanding later on…”
Eventually it becomes more and more common, until you feel like the Sahara desert decided to set up camp with no oasis in sight. Now not only intimacy is impacted, but exercise, walking, simply BREATHING takes way too much brain power. Yes—we heard you scream WHAT IS HAPPENING?! and we get it. So let’s talk about what CAN be done to help offset this hellish landscape.
The Only Quickie We Don’t Like
You’ve tried everything to ease the pain and discomfort. What you wouldn’t give for one week, one weekend, without flashes or midnight sweats. Like male fragility, you didn’t sign up for this—it was thrust upon you day after day, year after year with no end in sight. Quick fixes like teas, pain killers and lubes can and do help but they lack targeted and long-lasting, effective relief. The never ending search for relief leaves you feeling underwhelmed, discouraged, and disconnected to your own body. We hear you, we can help.
Pack Your Bags!
Quick, pop quiz! You’re packing your bug-out-bag for the Menopocalypse, what do you bring? Just kidding, it feels like the end of the world, the last thing we’re going to do is torture you with a test. Here ya go:
- Water, water, water (in all forms; liquid, solid, misted)
- Fan
- Snacks
- Noise-canceling earbuds
- Kunda Blossom Drops
Why Blossom?
You mean besides the fact that it is targeted pain relief delivered straight to your pelvic nerves, tissues, and endocannabinoid receptors, bypassing the need for digestion resulting in a faster onset that ultimately supports both your physical and emotional needs, such as pain during intimacy, making it disappear for longer and deeper than you ever thought possible? Here’s a few reasons we can think of:
- Organic hemp-derived CBD & CBG for natural endo-powered pain relief without THC and psychoactivity
- 5+ mg of Hyaluronic Acid for ultra hydration
- Organic cocoa butter & organic beeswax base for ease and comfort
- Doctor-created and third-party tested for peace of mind
Our Blossom Drop is the swiss army knife in your survival kit. It has many capabilities to help you navigate both perimenopause and menopause with less pain, discomfort, and hassle.
Sure, for an instant short-lived glide lubricants can help in a pinch. Hormone creams can help as well but doctor monitoring is vital, it takes ages, and the price tag is not inclusive. But Kunda suppositories are quick, powerful, localized and long lasting—the perfect storm of relief.
Drop It Like It’s Hot
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Here is how to use Kunda Drops:
- Choose your door. Both work equally well so no worries if you prefer one over the other.
- Get your chilled Drops from the fridge and be sure you have clean hands.
- Apply a bit of lubrication on the tip of the capsule.
- Find a helpful, comfortable position. Some like to lay down, others prop their leg up. You do you, just be sure you are relaxed.
- Gently glide the Drop into your opening with your longest finger as deeply as comfortable.
- Give the Drop time to activate and relax to music or a book for 30 minutes. Even better if you pop it in right before bed.
Bonus tip: Wear a panty liner to protect your undies and your sheets just in case.
One More Thing…
It helps to connect with those experiencing the same challenges as you, so come check out our Instagram and our Website to stay informed and included.
